The Holt Clan

tiff March 7th, 2010

I decided that today was the day…the day to tackle the grouting that has been looming over us for the last few weeks…Rick laid all the tile down over Presidents Weekend…but we have been pleasantly procrastinating the grouting that so badly needed to be done…as March 28th is really just around the corner…and that is when Rick’s Dad & wife will be coming to stay with us.

Here I am geared up to be on my knees…at this point I was not sure how my one knee would handle the pressure, but it did just fine at the end of the day…I was careful to alternate sitting styles, so not to put too much strain on my knee…it all worked out.  Poor Rick was not home to see me in these fabulous inventions…they really are ‘kind’ to your knees…but I don’t have any plans to wear them again…just so you know Rick…don’t get your HOPES up!

I do believe that grouting is not my calling…it seems like fun at first…to see those cracks be filled in…the satisfaction of cleaning up the grout that is on the tile makes it look all pretty…BUT…BUT…BUT…reality is…laying GROUT

SUCKS!

Plus we didn’t even have enough grout to finish the room…just needed a little bit more for the front of the washer/dryer area…that will have to happen another time when we can get down to Lowes to get the tub o’ grout.

For some god awful reason I wanted to surprise Rick by having the entire room done…little did I know how much pain I was going to be in at the end of the day…I started at 10a.m. and did not quit until 4:00p.m.~and aNd AND I am still not done!  I stopped a couple of times to sip some coffee and slug some water…but I didn’t even let myself stop to eat…needless to say I was a wee bit light headed at 4p.m.!

I got the entire room grouted by noon time…so I thought for sure I would have plenty of time to get the clean up done…but you see it is best to be doing the clean up as you go…LIVE & LEARN…so I was doing some scrubbing, scrapping and washing…all the while trying to not ruin the integrity of the grout in the cracks…that is hard to do!  I was able to do a mediocre job on the tile clean up…but it is NO where perfect…I went in that room 3 different times to scrub, scrape, vacuum, then wash…and still there is grout on the tiles that needs to come up.  I gave up…my hands would not work anymore…my back was aching & my shoulders stiff…my knees were starting to get sore and my MOOD was turning SOUR!  I was quickly turning into the biggest

GROUCH EVER!

So I picked up…headed to the kitchen where I grabbed a small slice of pizza..horked it down & slugged some more water…then realized that my hands were not working…and they were so sore that I could not make a fist…so I decided a shower was NEEDED…where I picked grout out of my finger nails…washed my hair w/o really feeling it and realized that I was so SORE that I just wanted to lay down and cry!  You see I have a problem…it has been with me since I was  kid…I can not start a project w/o finishing it to the end…so if I have the supplies I will work and work and work until it is done…it is usually a quality I pride myself having, but today when Rick came home & was oh so surprised, then looked at me & I started to cry…well he said,

“I was going to give myself 2 days to do this room!”

That is when I realized that I REALLY REALLY REALLY over did it!  And my loving husband hugged me and said, “This is like when we go backpacking and you don’t say anything or even stop to rest…only to find out that you have blisters on your feet that are bleeding!  You are determined to get it done!”  I quickly let him know that I would much rather put fiberglass insulation into walls than do anymore grouting…I did not enjoy my day…and feel like an idiot for not stopping myself sooner!

As our good friend, Jason said,

“Think of it as a LEARNING EXPERIENCE!”

one that I don’t plan on repeating! SMILES!!!

• home projects , new home
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tiff March 7th, 2010

saturday was the boys’ last ski lesson for the season…now they will just go up with their dad & play.  but with the last lesson came our last date ‘day’ until next season.  i was given the clearance to cross-country ski, so rick and i took advantage of some time together while the boys’ were busy…a fabulous day to spend together.

“Mom, LL Bean is not cool to wear on the slopes!”  Next year I will try hard to help my boys’ be a little more hip on the slopes! ha!  I think both boys’ want to have a little more color & uniqueness to their jackets &/or pants…I will be okay with it, as long as the pants stay at the waist and not half way down their ass!  Long ago are the days of me picking out their gear…smiles!

my ski boots…just melting the snow off before placing them into the car.  i had to go back to the car first, as my ski’s were collecting an inordinate amount of snow that had me walking instead of skiing…so rick went for an extra lap…he ski’s skate which is more like some crazy lung exercise…but while he was pushing up a hill doing what he does best…well he pole planted and snapped his pole in half…must have been pushing it a little too hard…so he ended back at the car earlier than he thought!

we continued our date ‘day’ by taking the bus into downtown aspen…where we love to grab coffee & people watch…and there are some fun sites to see.  of course we love the opportunity to grab lunch at Little Annies Eating House to go along with our beers…and we always stop by and see Rick’s step brother at his shop at the base of AJAX(aspen ski area).  we had to walk off our lunch and beer, so we continued our people watching as we passed many shops & outside hang outs…really it is the best place to make fun of people…and then afterwards say to ourselves…

“THANK GOD WE ARE SO PERFECT!!”

• exercise , restaurants , silliness , skiing
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tiff March 5th, 2010

…no one really likes to read or talk about weight…

so i will distract w/ what rick and i did last sunday…

…we hung out and watched the big hockey game with USA playing Canada…

we drank beer & I stared at the limes on my desktop that I had cut for our tortilla soup…YUM!

i heart tortilla soup, but really we don’t put tortillas in our soup…maybe i should re-name it.

• cooking , silliness
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tiff March 5th, 2010

i have read on so many blogs…people stating they have issues with how they look…i know they are real issues for them, but come on…when your ass still fits into a size 10…be frickin’ happy!  my thigh doesn’t fit in a damn size 10.

i remember wearing a 10 pretty vividly and i was super happy & fit & in love!  i remember wearing a size 8, but that took on-going work that was not easy…it involved me picking cheese off pizza or only eating salad w/ the dressing on the side or choosing a meatless meal or eating non-fat frozen yogurt w/ chocolate sauce & rice krispies sprinkled on top for breakfast or melba toast dipped in salsa.  along w/ all those crazy food choices i had to work out EVERYDAY and if i had any fat, then i had to work out MORE!  i think i was most happy at a 10/12, but it still was work…you see i have not been blessed with a high metabolism or a drive that makes me want to spend more time at a gym than with my family.

i hoped and prayed that when i was pregnant w/ the boys’ that i would be one of those lucky ones…you know the ones that have some chemical craziness happen while those hormones are a changin’…where i would give birth, breast feed for 16 months & wham my metabolism would speed up and i could eat whatever the hell i wanted, but still stay thin…YEP…that didn’t really HAPPEN!

instead i eat whatever the hell i want and my ass grows & grows kinda like pinocchio’s nose…but now that my ass has successful moved up quite a few jean sizes…my belly has decided to take on some weight…i suppose to evenly distribute my OBESITY…yes…that is what it is!  i try to fit myself somewhere else on that damn chart…but i am pretty sure that i am not 6 foot tall…and that 2 is certainly not a 1 no matter how much i squint at it on the scale…i have asked if i could just get buck naked to weigh in…i am pretty sure that my fleece vest must weigh 10 pounds at least…let alone the weight of my granny panties…plus the amount of material to make up my jeans…really all those things added together…well it might move me a smidge over on that OBESITY chart, cuz’ that is what it is called…not BODY MASS INDEX!

i love working out.  i love the high.  i love the mindset.  oh and have i mentioned i love fitting into a 10/12?  i would love to blame having a family as a reason for letting go…letting go of the daily workout…letting go of the obsessed eating habits…letting go of all of it, but i can’t…i think i let go when we moved to Alaska…i let go of soccer…let go of working out to Jane Fonda…let go of my vegetarian/low-fat eating…i just let go…and at the time i was happy…we took on new things, different things, never in our wildest dream things…it was all good except that letting go did not get replaced w/ something that was equally healthy…eventually we figured out some replacements, but really nothing beats running around kicking a soccer ball for 90 minutes…yep i miss that workout…ya know the one where you are having so much fun that you don’t even know you are working out…ya know the one where it was not a burden to make the effort to put on your shorts, shin guards, cleats and  get out on the field…i really love those workouts where you don’t even know you are working out..i think that is why i love backpacking or hiking…i would say biking too…but quite honestly it feels like a WORKOUT!

i have dreams…BIG DREAMS…where i can go to the Title9 website and order anything i want, cuz’ damn i look good, healthy & in shape…but for now i go to that website and think…would that look good on my RED SHADED OBESITY CHART BODY…no i don’t think so…so i just continue to drool over those women in a coveted kinda way…is that bad?  it inspires…sometimes…but then reality hits…those clothes will never fit this woman…this woman that has soccer thighs even at her thinnest…this woman that LOVES to wear Carhartt’s, cuz’ the legs are just SO…this woman that really quite honestly has a pretty LOW self image…what is up with that?

i have a really DREAMY kinda life…i have a husband that adores me for who i am{how lucky i am…and he is my bestest friend ever}…i have two amazing kiddo’s that look at me as their mama, not their FAT mama…i have a career that has me doing what i love~guiding childrens learning…i have a beautiful ‘FOREVER’ home…i live in a place that is all about being active & healthy…i have  friends far, far away and so close by…but yet…i see myself through a lens that sees all my flaws!  Cuz’ it is not just all about my weight you see…it is about “where the hell did those wrinkles come from?”…or how the hell come i have to spend 2-3 times in front of the mirror plucking unwanted hairs that pop out on my chin or above my lip…or how come when i get up in the morning i have eyebrows that look like Einsteins…and when did all those grey hairs show up near my forehead?…and then i have to go put on my pants that are really quite tight at the waist line, but i refuse to go up a size…cuz’ that is just admitting defeat…ha…as if that has not happened like 4 sizes before…geesh!

and really what it all comes down to is putting myself FIRST…screw you family…I am going to become a GYM RAT!

but you see…i have this dedication to my family…and so there is my second letting go…i let go when we moved to Alaska, but then found my way back to good healthy habits…then i got pregnant & continued those same good healthy habits(ya know i was a 10 even in maternity clothes carrying twins…pretty pleased with myself)…but after the feeding frenzy on my breasts ended when the guys were 16 months old…well i let go…i let go for awhile, then didn’t…cuz’ i realized i could work out pretty easily during nap times…but then i let go again…it was easier to be with my kids, then ignore them & work out…and then my husband would come home from work…and it would be easier to be with my husband & kids, then ignoring them & working out…then my kids would go to bed…and it would be easier to be with JUST my husband, then ignoring him & working out…and that my friends is the cycle i have been in for probably the last 6 years…you see i stayed in really good shape that first four years(because the boys’ napped…an amazingly easy time to workout & ignore nobody)

…but for the last 6 years…i chose NOT to ignore my family…but yet i was so quick to IGNORE me!  it is now painfully obvious to me…that i MUST start ignoring my family & start CONCENTRATING on ME!  Mama’s are truly self-less…well most Mama’s!  Why is that?

I really wont ignore my family and hope to include them in my gym time…as the collective “they” say…”a family that works out together, stays together”…that seems like a weird saying…but i am keeping it in, as it makes me feel better & less like i am ignoring!

If you read it this far…i take pity on you, but please do not take pity on me…I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me…I did this to myself…and now I must fix it…someday my soccer legs will fit back into a size 10…as a good friend says to me all the time…

LIFE HAPPENS just MOVE ON!!!

I might be in the red right now, but someday in the future I will be in the green!

• exercise , weight
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tiff February 28th, 2010

I have not been to Costco since the middle of January.  We try to go every 6-8 weeks to do some stocking up for lunches & dinners.  I usually just go and try and remember what we need or want…but usually come home shaking my head because I forget so much.  I made a plan this time…I wanted to see if I could make a menu for the month…obviously just sketched out w/ plenty of wiggle room.

But it is important to remember that I don’t live in Alaska where the outdoors is a giant FREEZER and that we JUST have a smallish freezer…part of the fridge.  Apparently I forgot that we don’t have a chest freezer to put the over-flow of food in & the temps outside during the day are at 40F…so that is not going to work…so I had to be CREATIVE w/ the organization of that smallish FREEZER!

This is the smallish FREEZER that is VERY, VERY FULL, but oh so ORGANIZED!

I think next time we might have to put an UPRIGHT FREEZER on the LIST!

This is the sketched out menu for the month.  WE stay at home to eat if we have a written down Menu and we eat better! I already notice some changes I will want to make…so we are not eating chicken after chicken after chicken…plus I try to even out the Italian meals w/ the Mexican meals…two of our favorite cuisines along with Thai.

• carbondale , cooking , family
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tiff February 22nd, 2010

that is how many times they have been on ice-skates!

I do believe all the cross country skiing has given the boys’ the balance needed to be on ice-skates.  They are working on going backwards…and they are practicing their hockey stops.  Always a goal to work towards…and I love their determination…hmmm…I do believe I have said this before here!

keegan on the left and rohnan on the right~happiness in Aspen, skating with their cousin, Zach, at his 7th birthday party!

• sports
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tiff February 21st, 2010

still watching the OLYMPICS 2010!

did you know that you can get “rabbit ears” for your HDTV?  you hook it up and scan for air signals via your t.v.

we never have been so happy about “rabbit ears” as we are right now at this MOMENT…we didn’t want to miss the Olympics.

we have to face the entire box towards the windows to get a good signal, but who cares…we get the OLYMPICS!!!!

really it is all about the little things in life!!!

• silliness
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tiff February 20th, 2010

Hmmm…Our books certainly tell a little bit about us…and you probably could connect the book to the individual in our home…really it is not a trick question…you so know that rick is reading THE HELP…I am reading The Name of This Book is Secret…Keegan is reading Columbine…and Rohnan is reading Dealing with Dragons, as he often refers to Keegan as a dragon and needs some tips….

JUST KIDDING!!!!

:::okay…okay…really it goes like this:::

rick~columbine, tiff~the help, rohnan~the name of this book is secret & keegan~dealing w/dragons

I do believe that the boys’ and I are reading for entertainment & fun…Rick’s book has a hidden agenda, but I think he is still reading his book to fulfill an interest in a topic that makes you go HMMMMM!

*****

On a side note I went into my boys’ rooms to find their current reads only to trip over books, clothes & blankets…before finding their books in their beds.  I should take a photo or two of the boys’ bed sides, as it just makes me SMILE.  Rohnan is currently using a few Captain Underpants as a table for his clock…and Keegan has a book strategically balancing on the rim of his trash can…

OH BOY!  I am so glad they LOVE books!!!

• family
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tiff February 19th, 2010

.:.my boys’ thought it would be a good idea to clean off the patio and create an ice-rink.:.

the only problem, the temperature was at

37F

• new home , silliness
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tiff February 18th, 2010

Keegan decided yesterday that he wanted everyone to wear Red SOCKS on Thursday.  He was talking to his brother about how he could/would get the word out.  He used words like “social networking”…which meant his mama was going to be helping him with his wacky, but fun idea.  First Keegan blogged about it here, then he lovingly asked me to put it on my twitter & facebook…finally he got on Club Penguin and spread the word.  I am not really sure how many people joined in on his pursuit of RED SOCKS on Thursday, but he sure did make an impact on his MAMA!

The only red SOCKS I have are Christmas…so this is what I wore ALL day! Oh how I LOVE this silly boy of mine!

• family , silliness
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